I’ve known for several years now what sacrificial (agape) love is. It means putting others before yourself, even if it’s inconvenient to you. I wanted to recommend it to you. Yes, you. Especially when you’re involved with someone else, like a spouse.
The example I am going to use is a Drum and Bugle Corps show we went to Saturday evening. When we got the flyer in the mail, I mentioned to my wife that I would like us to go to the event. I checked off a couple of possible hindrances, such as work and day of the week, but didn’t think about my wife’s desire to be home after 8:00 pm any night. In my excitement, I bought tickets. She distressed a bit about the late evening, but not much, all things considered. I ran into some health issues in the last month, and so did she. I won’t detail those, but let’s just say being far away from home wasn’t a great choice. When I say far, I mean half-hour distance. So the doctor gave her some strong antibiotics which made her tired and nauseous. So after a morning working in the yard Saturday, we rested for most of the afternoon. It was really touch and go as to whether we’d go or not. She made some comments about me going without her, but she knows I won’t do that, except in special cases, like traveling for work, or recreational SCUBA. She dosed a bit, and got up to get ready to go. I will point out now that if it were up to her (and it really was), she would not go. But she knew I was excited, she knew that she was part of that excitement (because I was sharing a glimpse of my young life where she wasn’t a part yet), that I wouldn’t really enjoy myself without her, and she decided to tough it out, regardless of nausea and cramps. Thankfully, neither of those things manifested itself, and she was able to fully enjoy it, even if it was a late night.
What my wife did for me Saturday night was sacrificial love. She did it simply because she wanted me to enjoy myself. What it evoked from me was a sense of awe. She knows that I will do the same for her (and have), but more than anything, It just makes me love her all the more.
I have seen relationships where the couple is not engaged in anything together. They work apart, they play apart, and all they have together is their children. My own step-daughter has been married close to 20 years, and will not, under any circumstances, sit down and watch a sports event with her husband. I haven’t seen many times they’ve been on vacation together. My suggestion is to become involved. Intimate. Know the other person’s likes and dislikes. Get to understand why. Learn about something they like, come to enjoy sharing that with them, and you have made a life-long friend.