Question for my readers


It appears I have made a mistake in my marriage…anyone want to comment? Of course, you’re hearing it from my side, but I’ll be fair…

My wife is always sensitive to changes I make without her knowledge. Apparently even if there’s no material change…We went to a seminar a few weeks ago, and one of their appeals was to become a monthly member by donating a small amount. First, we never choose to donate on the spot, except for a one-time donation of cash. Secondly, we just had some big expenses, and didn’t want to make that commitment. so we decided not to become a part. After thinking about it for a while, I thought of a way I could be a part, and not impact our finances (not that the amount I wanted to give monthly would impact anyway…). I decided, unilaterally, to diminsh what we give monthly to one entity, and give to the other entity. My plan was to disclose this, but she found out by looking at email that I did it. Now she’s upset that I went back on what we agreed to. I tried to explain that I was going to tell her, that I wasn’t planning to impact our finances, and that I wasn’t, above all, hiding it from her.

She’s skeptical. I told her that, on principal, I was wrong, but that I think I did the right thing, except that I should have told her before I did it. The thing is, it was a question as a part of a purchase, and I agreed to it. The explanation just got lost in the hustle and bustle of our lives. Like, by a week. I know the most important words in a marriage are “I’m sorry.” So whether I’m wrong or not, I’ll mea culpa to what I did…

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4 thoughts on “Question for my readers

  1. David, a marriage is a union where two become one. No matter how big or small or how you may justify your actions to yourself, your wife was hurt by your actions which exclude her input. For example, she may have really wanted to contribute more money to the other entity. Next time get her input you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome, also an apology is just a bunch of words if it lacks sincerely.

  2. I agree about the action, but disagree about the apology. I don’t say “Sorry” to appease. Only to express my sorrow for hurting the person addressed.

    I learned the lesson, though. And I thanked her for it. šŸ™‚

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