As I said before, I have been asked to be a Godparent (sponsor) to a young couple that’s getting married. We met a week ago at a restaurant just to get to know each other a little, because I barely know either one, though I know the parents pretty well. The reason I was chosen is the desire of the mother of the groom that a “holy man” be involved with them. I cough at that designation, cuz I don’t think I’m that ‘holy’, though I strive to be.
In the tradition of the culture they come from, the Godparents typically shower gifts when a child is born or on an anniversary, and such, and the rest of the time are just ‘friends’ or ‘uncles and aunts’. I explained to them that, to the extent they want it, I’m a hands-on guy when it comes to the Catholic faith.
Yesterday we met more intimately, at home over dinner, and afterward we had a discussion. Again, I told them I’m not there to drive them, but to challenge them. I told them that, if they want a sacramental Catholic marriage, they have to live by (at least) the precepts of the faith-go to Mass weekly (as opposed to weakly ), partake of the sacraments, and lead their children in the faith (yes, there’s already children-she has three, and one of them is his…). Also, they live together, and at our first meeting, the bride-to-be asked me if they needed to go to Confession before they get married, of course I said they should…last night, I breached the topic of Confession, and what it’s supposed to be-that you acknowledge your sins, you’re sorry for them, and you will try to not do them again. And then I brought up their current living situation. I was very
delicate. I didn’t give the radical suggestion that they live in separate dwellings, or even rooms. I did suggest that they confess any sexual sins, and from that time until the wedding, they live without having intimate relations…it actually was received very well. Pastorally, I suggested that
they had to pray about when to go to Confession, knowing about this sacrifice, for it will be a sacrifice. I told them that they could confess it the day before their wedding, spend a celibate night, and start with a clean slate. I said that it would show God a firm purpose of amendment, though, if they went to confession tomorrow, and were celibate for the 7 weeks until their marriage. I said I expected the answer to be somewhere in between for them, but to pray on it…
The meeting went well. I challenged them to start going to Mass, and also to start being ministers of the faith to their children.
This is an exciting thing for me, and I hope I can lead this family to a path that’s right for them.
Next up, I plan to help them celebrate their Wedding Mass-really celebrate-get involved with the Liturgy, choose appropriate readings, and music…