7 Signs That He’s Marriage Material: A Catholic View


7 Signs That He’s Marriage Material: A Catholic View.

7 Signs That He’s Marriage Material: A Catholic View

May 10, 2011
by James Tucker
The Wedding Feast at Cana by Jacopo Robusti Tintoretto

You’ve probably seen a magazine or website that claims to be able to give you the code to decipher if a man is serious about a woman or if the two are compatible.  They’ll have some title to catch your eye: The 5 Sure Ways to Know He’s Thinking Marraige, The  7 Signs That Show He Really Likes You, etc.  But as Catholics, we ought to have our own way of looking at relationships and decoding these “secret signs.”  If you feel that God is calling you to the married life, you’d better find someone who understands that call and takes it as seriously as the vocation and sacrament deserve.  Without further adieu, here is Fire of Thy Love’s take on reading cues in a relationship.

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1. He doesn’t want to use you sexually

I’m starting of with this one because it flies in the face of what most of these magazines and the popular culture will tell you.  If a man wants to remove sex from the proper confines of married intimacy he is disrespecting you, himself, and God.  He does not care about the state of your soul, and would lead you into sin for his own pleasure.  If a man truly loves you, he will put your well-being above his desires.  St. Paul teaches that if a man and a woman sleep together they become one body (1Cor 6:16.)  If a man is not willing to make the commitment with his soul to be one with you, he should not be making that commitment with his body, and neither should you.

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2. He treats sexuality with respect

If a man makes jokes about sex and treats premarital sex as “no big deal” he will likely not give marriage the proper respect it deserves.  St. Paul warns against joking about and treating sexuality lightly and says that those who do so have no inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ (Eph 5:4-5.)  If a man is treating sexuality lightly now, he will likely continue to do the same after your marriage.  He may look at sex as purely recreation, and not understand the life-giving and unitive properties marriage intimacy requires.  A man who treats sexuality with respect now will more likely treat you and your marriage with respect in the future.

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3. He is open to life

A man who says he does not open to having children has no business getting married or having sex.  The Church teaches that sex that is not open to life is sinful.  The Scriptures teach us that children are a blessing and a reward (Ps 127:3.)  Along the lines with the point above, if a man is not open to life he is treating sexuality as merely a means to pleasure for him.  If he wants to deny the possibility of children, he is going against the design of God.  As he decides to remove the life-giving part of sex, he also removes the unity that results, as he holds back part of himself, his fertility, from you.

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Praying the Rosary together will lead to a better relationship

4. He prays with you

If a man wants to attend Mass with you and asks you to pray with him, he understands the need for a union based in Christ.  If you do pray together, you will find yourself growing closer together as you grow closer to God, as Christ will be in your midst (Mt 18:20.)  You will begin to know each other more intimately as you discover the relationship each has with their faith.  Your bond will grow even more as you strengthen one another in that faith.  Marriage is designed by God for a man and a woman to bring one another closer to Him, so if you see this happening already, it’s a good sign that your man is good marriage material.

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5. He inspires you to be holy

The purpose of our lives is to love, reverence, and serve God and by those means to achieve eternal life.  As stated above, marriage is designed by God to facilitate that end.  If a man inspires you to be holy, it is a good sign.  If the love he shows you reflects the love of God, you will desire to be with him to come closer to God.  The man you marry will need to help you on the path of salvation, so if your man is leading you continuously into sin, he is probably not be the right choice.  Likewise, you need to make sure you can help him to be holy as well.  When you marry, you gain responsibility for the soul of your spouse and children.

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6. He has a devotion to Mary

A man who has a real devotion to Mary truly respects womanhood.  He understands that Mary is the model of all Christians and treats her and all women with the respect they deserve as the daughters of God.  He is more likely to revere you as a gift from God, as he does his heavenly mother.  He understands that Eternal Life entered the world through a woman, and that his own eternal life will come to him from God through you.

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7. He goes to Confession frequently

It should be no secret that every day in marriage is not complete bliss.  Disagreements and arguments are bound to come up.  A man who goes to frequent Confession realizes his faults and knows that he is not perfect.  He is not above recognizing his wrongdoings and asking for forgiveness.  Know that you will have to forgive your husband.  A man who knows his own failings will be more likely to seek your forgiveness.  You too should go to frequent Confession and understand your own faults.  This mutual familiarity with seeking and granting forgiveness will allow you to work out these differences when they arise.

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What would you add to this list?  Leave a comment to join the discussion.

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One thought on “7 Signs That He’s Marriage Material: A Catholic View

  1. Just attended a wedding and the groom, in his vows, actually touched on just about all of these ideas. Though its out of character for me I’ll admit his vows made me a little teary eyed.

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